I believe that America has a media addiction. And it's killing us.
And yet, I find my Self participating - as a producer and a consumer - over and over again. I guess recognition and acceptance is the first (long) step, right?
Over the years, I had weaned my Self off of cable television (since most of the shows I liked were on the internet anyway). I believe the less media I consume, the easier it is for me to produce media - and for some reason, I think it's good for me to produce media, but bad to consume (too much?) media. I guess it's an express, don't repress sort of thing. Not to mention the fact that most American media has pretty much sucked for the last decade or so...But at least there are exceptions. Like Colbert Report.
In truth, I consume some type of media frequently - if it's not audio-visual, it's reading; if it's not consuming information, it's talking on the phone. We have many ways of using stories - other stories - to distract our Selves from life - our stories. The static and noise distracts us from our thought-chatter - and then sometimes we have to scream "SHUT UP!" in order to hear the silence again.
One way I try to do that (tap into silence/peace) is to create art media - I enjoy collage, and I recently picked up a sketch book as well. I started practicing piano again after my cousin graciously loaned me her keyboard for the time being. Dance, yoga, and massage also bring the mind back into the body's natural alignment: ease.
There is a creator of information, a consumer of information, and the media is the channel through which that information travels. The term "media" has also come to mean the press, although the media that the press produces is but one form of media. Hollywood, the internet, phones, even post-it notes are all forms of media. Almost all of our communication is mediated - and most folks consume media as a way to share time and space together.
In one of my favorite classes of all time, Media and Ethics - a philosophy course - we had to take a media diet. First, we monitored all of our media consumption. Our professor, the inspiring Alejandro de Acosta, didn't tell us what counted as media - it was up to us to decide what we considered media in our life. I was one of the few that recognized cell phone conversations as mediated.
Taking a media diet is HARD - one feels bored, squirelly, upset, lost...because suddenly one can't avoid oneself quite as easily. One has to face ones thoughts and feelings. One has to figure out new strategies to have fun and feel good. It ain't the easiest thing in the world to do. See if you can make it a week - I'd be impressed with three days.
The root singular word - medium - also relates to Media, which became part of the Persian Empire (near Iran) in 550 B.C. Medium, in addition to being a conduit of information, means the middle - the middle value in a set of data, the middle size, the place in between.
Man, I feel like I have been in between for a whole minute! I think media is a way we expel some of that latent energy that tends to build up in us over time - whether it's by consuming or creating media, it definitely represents the movement of energy - and in recent years, the question of which direction that energy is flowing has cropped up time and again. Is media one-way or two-way - are we having a dialogue or a monologue here?
I think we've been so well-trained at consuming media, we have forgotten how to converse - and that includes my Self as well, to be frank. When we have this in-between, this magic mirror reflecting us back how we want to see our Selves, we can lose sight of the immediate world - you know, like nature, and relationships, and real, participatory fun.
This bleeds into my politics, which is why most of my activism has centered around media reform. I have seen my Self as an agent of media reform, with the hopes of effecting a cultural phenomenon. I wanted to get overlooked, proactive, and alternative stories into the mainstream media. The original plan was to use media as a tool to encourage people to get involved face-to-face.
However, it takes a lot of energy to create media, show up face-to-face, cultivate relationships, and pay the bills. Plus, I'm reconsidering my tactics - I believe in action - but action with purpose. And after a while, I started feeling - like I was just adding to the noise, even if it was on a "higher frequency" from my point of view.
In the end, I must face my Self in the real mirror, not just this mystical mask I put on - to get you to like me, to get what I need from you, to feel better about my Self. The way we all do - there is our essential true Self, hidden inside, showing itself in glimpses, and then there's our game face. We're usually wearing our game face - all of us. It takes an incredible amount of vulnerability and honesty to get real. Unfortunately, most of us are never taught to be real. I've been learning for years now, and it still feels like my mask is glued on.
I don't like the media. I have been involved to change it - but I moved from newsroom to newsroom feeling frustrated with the crappy reality that is mainstream media (in my humble opinion). Then I moved into non-profits, so I could use my skills and tools to advocate their position. But as I move from place to place, hoping I'll be happy and lasting at this next post, I realize one thing.
I have been fooling my Self. And I won't ever be happy if I keep it up. So it's time for me to try to get real with me. If I don't like our media culture, if I feel a lump in the pit of my stomach when I see a Time Warner commercial, then why do I continue - to pay the cable bill, to look for media work, to stay holed up in my house, too scared to face my own shadow?
There are more pragmatic and practical reasons I am anti-technology/media - like the fact that kids work in toxic mines in Africa to give us our cell phones and computers.
We can only move towards what makes us feel joyful, and move away from what brings us suffering. Most of us think media help us feel better. All of us are just trying to be able to sleep at night - find that silence. Well, even though media distracts us from our inner dialogue, it doesn't get rid of it - just like food, sex, drugs, alcohol, exercise, work, and any other behavior brought to an extreme.
I'm not hating on media consumer/addicts. Like I said, I might be one too. But all I know is that it's hard to be successful when I really believe that people need to focus on something other than the media - and yet I market my Self as a media expert. I think I am more skilled and thoughtful at media than most folks - but I'm more interested in helping people in real, concrete ways, face-to-face - and getting my Self involved in my own life again.
In the end, I accept some level of contradiction - I'm going to keep trying to do what I'm good at, in addition to what I enjoy. I'm learning to set boundaries to protect my Self from the urgency of the media environment. I value time and space - even though I have a hard time managing it sometimes.
Walking the walk is so hard, y'all. This is about practicing what I preach. It makes it difficult to keep blogging, but it's what I want - plus my book, plus to teach, plus a paycheck, plus to be a professional volunteer. Oh, to try to make the world adapt to us - to adapt to the world. To be true to my Self. To be real with my Self. And the struggle continues...as I wait for the game to begin.
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